Number Four

Ok so I was in England, away from computers and other computer like apparatuses(is that right?) and I got the urge to write a blog so I did. On paper. With a pen. I know internet peoples, madness. Here it is anywho, typed specially for you=P

Confidence. Why do some people just ooze confidence and others are so shy that they’ll just sit there on their own because their too afraid to talk to strangers? They’ll go almost a whole week hoping that the person they know will say hi to them because they’re too nervous to say hi themselves because they don’t know the person that well.

Me, I’m kind of an inbetweener. I find it hard to talk to strangers when I’m alone but when I have friends around me I’m fine. I’m also occasionally okay talking to a stranger one-on-one, providing they make the first move.

Sugar and alcohol are my friends who fight my shyness away. For example, the first time I drank at a party, I got to talk to someone who had been in my class for almost two years for the first time and I’m so glad I did. Another example, the coach for a Christian conference. The journey there, I stayed with my cousin and kind of spoke to one other person and then the journey back I was on a sugar high and spoke to loads of people, offering around ice cream(rolo from KFC-so nice) I wish that I could be that confident all the time because then life would be so much easier. I was talking with some friends recently and everyone was listing off top 5 physical and personality traits they find attractive in the opposite sex and everyone, boys and girls, had confidence on their list. When I actually stopped to think about it, I realised that I mainly like confident guys too. Confidence is something I’ve always longed for more of, like when I used to be in band and I’d sit there not talking to anyone because I was too shy. I got over it eventually but it did take me 5 years to talk to someone in the band and they were the one who made the first move.

I know I’m not as shy as some people but it doesn’t stop me wishing I was less shy. My cousin recently told me that I was being silly by not talking to people and I need to get over it but no matter how much I’m determined to not be shy, it never works.

Aw well, all I can do is pray for more confidence or just eat a hell of a lot more sugar=P

Kerbear xXx

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